Escort missions are the bane of many video game fans around the world. There are few things more frustrating than watching someone walk a quarter of your speed, with no equipment and no sense of self-awareness meandering down a set path.
Thankfully, not all escort missions are terrible, with a few ending up being quite exciting. Some have even improved over the years – for example, Resident Evil 4 Remake improved the AI for Ashley Graham significantly.
While a handful few can feel challenging and satisfying, there are far more escort missions in video game history that are brutal and feel unfair.
Some of the games that made this list are some of the most beloved in gaming – that doesn’t stop some of the main missions from being infuriating.
For Pete’s Sake (Earthworm Jim)
What’s worse than an annoying escort mission in a video game? One where it can fight back against you. “For Pete’s Sake” in Earthworm Jim has the player guiding the adorable Peter Puppy across one of the game’s many hellscapes.
The dog can’t jump without your help, and should he take any damage, he hulks out into a frenzied, rabid killing machine that does its best to destroy Jim.
The stage itself isn’t bad – it’s all the stuff in it that you have to look out for that makes this escort mission so frustrating in the classic Earthworm Jim video game.
If you leave even one enemy near the escort, it might take a tiny bit of damage, and result in you losing a life. It is certainly infuriating, having to redo parts of this stage over and over because of the escort itself.
Free From the Hold (WoW Classic)
There are far too many escort missions across the 20 years of the classic video game World of Warcraft to pick just one. We could’ve easily populated this list only with WoW or WoW Classic.
One of the most frustrating ones however comes from The Barrens: Free From the Hold. You free a Blood Elf, Gilthares Firebough from a Human Alliance base, and have to escort him an incredibly long distance to Ratchet.
Or at least, it feels like it takes forever because he walks at the speed of someone who has no legs. He’s going to guide you through a group of pirates and is incredibly aggressive, so he’ll try and fight any NPC in the path.
It’s likely he’s going to die on this quest, making what normally takes at least 20 minutes go much longer. Thankfully, you can skip this and never do it.
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Protect Natalya (GoldenEye 007)
Having to protect Russian hacker Natalya in GoldenEye 007 on the N64 is certainly in the running for the worst video game escort missions of all time.
It’s one of the few blemishes this masterpiece offered players. Natalya is trying to hack a computer in this mission – naturally. However, the enemies don’t ever seem to stop spawning, and she can’t defend herself.
When you’re actually escorting her for the mission itself, she has no sense of self – she’ll walk right into oncoming bullets, without any regard for her life.
This mission is arguably the worst one in the entire game and one of the most annoying escort missions in any video game ever.
Protect Emma Emmerich (Metal Gear Solid 2)
When considering this list, Emma Emmerich from Metal Gear Solid 2 came up first – before any MMO or other game.
While we like Emma Emmerich as a character, anything involving her in the world of Metal Gear is misery itself. Not only is this an escort mission, it’s on a timer, and it also involves going underwater. Occasionally, you have to carry her on top of that.
She will not make anything easy on you, screaming at the slightest inconvenience or tiniest bug on a wall, and she doesn’t know how to hide if an enemy spots her.
At least the developers gave players the option of just knocking her unconscious and carrying her through this awful video game escort mission. Doing it the normal way might be the most frustrating experience in any stealth game in history.
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Any Survivor Mission (Dead Rising franchise)
The Dead Rising franchise is so much fun – at least, most of the time. Frank West as a character is fantastic, and slaughtering zombies with all sorts of hand-crafted weapons is satisfying.
However, there is one thing that every single Dead Rising game got wrong, and that’s the Survivor Missions. We understand that these people are supposed to be scared and useless.
This is made worse because escort missions are this video game series’ bread and butter. Swarms of zombies aim for innocent citizens, and it’s up to Frank West to slowly get them to safety.
The AI of these escorts is appalling. They are far too willing to throw themselves into situations where they will almost certainly get killed.
Escort missions in video games do make sense. As the hero, it’s usually up to you to set things right and keep the innocent safe.
However, in far too many cases, they’re completely defenseless and only serve to force players to restart missions over and over. Some see these as a tactical challenge to overcome, while others view them as a frustrating waste of time.
